We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my poor anus
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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