Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
