Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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