i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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