Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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