im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
