Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
