I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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