Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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