This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
