Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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