It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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