the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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