I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
