And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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