blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
