you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Randomize
