eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
