Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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