I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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