The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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