i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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