I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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