I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
