Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
