The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Text me some of your sweat
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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