wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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