You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
