Barsexuality is the new black.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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