Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
