I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
