Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize