He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me I should be a condom model.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
NoShamevember. You game?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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