D3 body, D1 cock
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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