oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
