i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
