Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
