come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When are your genitals available?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
