ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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