He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
