Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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