so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
