I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
