i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
