in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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