this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
