omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
