No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
