His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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