You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize