It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
