Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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