i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
