Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
