Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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