I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
