Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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