Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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