I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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