mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
