I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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