It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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